The Practice of Saying No

Of all the things that I learned while in college, one of the most profound messages was shared by a Spiritual mentor—“Sometimes, the most holy thing you can do is take a nap.” I think that sentence stuck with me because it was, and still is, so counterculture. I remember upon hearing that, I really wanted it to be true, but I wasn’t sure that it was. The older I get, however, and the more I learn about who God is, the more I trust this statement.

This week’s practice out of Barbara Brown Taylor’s An Altar in the World is on Sabbath, or “The Practice of Saying No.” She begins the chapter with another quote, one which I had not heard before, but one which is very much in line with my college truth. “God is not found in the soul by adding anything but by subtracting,” -- written by Meister Eckhart, a German theologian.

I struggle to say no. I know that I am not alone. Our society lives in such a way that “the ability to do many things at high speed is not only an adaptive trait but also the mark of a successful human being.” We don’t want to miss out, we don’t want to disappoint others, and if we are really honest, we don’t really want to quiet ourselves to where we are still and silent and have to listen to thoughts that we successfully avoid with action.

So many of us feel the burden of having to earn our keep, whether it be at work, with providing our kids the most and best of activities, or even showing God our worth by how many church and volunteer activities we can do. However, God is not interested in how many balls we can juggle. God has not asked for our performance, but is instead much more interested in our soul. The Sabbath was “the first sacred thing in all creation.” The Sabbath came before churches, before Sunday School or youth camp, before handbells or teaching VBS. The first chance that humanity had to be holy was the chance to be like God in rest.

Our natural inclination is to say that its impossible—we are just too busy to give up a day in rest. It really is interesting to think about all the ways in which technological advances have made our chores quicker and more efficient, yet we just find gobs of other things to take up that newly released time. Taylor recommends easing in to this practice of Sabbath by exploring why are you resistant to it.

“Make two lists on one piece of paper. On one side of the paper, list all of the things you know give you life that you never take time to do. Then, on the other side, make a list of all the reasons why you think it is impossible for you to do those things. That is all there is to it. Just make the two lists, and keep the piece of paper where you can see it. Also promise not to shush your heart when it howls for the list it wants.”

Taylor’s eventual hope for her readers is that they get to a place where they truly practice sabbath. While a day of not doing, not producing, not earning, may be anxiety-producing, it is also a command from God. Our creator knows our souls better than we ever will, and this command is for our good. The practice of saying no, of resting, and of clearing space in our calendar for communion with God and others, is indeed a good thing. After making a world full of good things, God took the time to rest. After our week full of good things, may we too find the time to enjoy a holy nap, and may we look more like God once we awake.