Pardon me???

A ministry that I am blessed to participate in outside of Methodist Family Health is teaching 8^th grade Sunday School at my church, where we are currently going through the Old Testament. Last week, I was pretty excited to learn that the lesson that I was going to be teaching that week was the story of Gideon. I don’t know about you guys, but I have always really LOVED Gideon.

In case it’s been a while, Gideon was an Israelite, but he was a member of what was considered the weakest tribe, and he was the “least of his family.” Basically, Gideon was pretty much a nobody. Which meant that he needed to watch out, because he was exactly the kind of person that God loves to choose to call to some extraordinary tasks. In Gideon’s case, God tasked him with not only pretty much turning the hearts of the Israelites back to God (and away from the worship of idols), but he was to do this while leading the Israelite army in a war against the Midianites, who were holding the entire nation in oppression.

Gideon is visited by a messenger of God (while he was literally hiding some wheat in a winepress so that the Midianites would not take it,) and is told “The Lord is with you, might warrior.” Gideon’s response here is one of my favorite things in the entire Bible. “Pardon me,” he says, and then basically tells the messenger to look around. “If God is with us,” he asks, then why are we living in hiding like this? Where is God, and why is He making us go through this?

The messenger basically ignores his response, and comes at him even harder,  “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”

And, once again, Gideon shoots back with a  “Pardon me, my lord,” “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” Again, Gideon lets the angel know that he has the wrong person. “Excuse me?? You want me to not only convince these people who feel abandoned that God is real, but you also want the weakling to go lead a rebellion against an army of oppressors? For real?”

Indeed, this is what God wanted, but Gideon would not move without further confirmation. He laid out a fleece, and told God that if this was really what He wanted to happen, God would have to make the fleece wet, but leave all of the land around it dry. That happened, so the next night, Gideon switched it up, and told God if He was really, really for real, to make the fleece dry, but to leave all the land around it wet. And again, God caused this sign to happen. At this point, Gideon pretty much had no excuses left, so he bravely led his family, his tribe, and his nation in to battle, and because God was with them, rescued his people from oppression.

The reason that I like this story so much, aside from the sheer entertainment of Gideon’s “Pardon Me?” responses, is that I have so many Gideon moments in my life. I know that God calls the weak and the unequipped, so it should no longer surprise me that He has things He wants to use me for. I am flawed and imperfect, which means God can work in me and through me. But, even knowing that, and even knowing that He will do the work, and I’m simply a vessel, I still struggle. I still want 1,498,365 confirmations before I’m ready to move. “God, you want me to leave my comfort zone and go spend some time with that person? Ok. If 7 people mention it, then I’ll go.”  “You are calling me to sacrifice some money to give to toward this cause? I’m just going to wait until some extra money shows up in my account, and then I’ll know that’s really what you want.”

Is that just me? Am I the only one that can be so slooowwww to move? I want to be obedient, but at the same time I’m scared that I will fail, or that I’m really not hearing God, or that what He is calling me to is just too hard.

But, here’s the thing. God doesn’t wait for perfect circumstances or timing. God doesn’t work in perfection. I’m going to say that one more time, so that I can really hear it—God DOES. NOT. WORK. IN. PERFECTION. God works in our weaknesses. When we are weak, God is strong in us. Where we have flaws, God has room to grow us. God picked Gideon (and David, and Moses, and the list goes on and on) BECAUSE of their imperfections. And, because we are imperfect, we can know that God is indeed choosing us for His work. We can ask for all of the confirmations, and because He is patient, He will often give them. Or, we can jump in on the blessing and work that He has for us now. Because, let’s all face it—we are probably going to end up being obedient to what He has for us eventually anyway. Do we want to spend days, or hours, or years running from what He is calling us to do? Or can we just give in, knowing that if He is calling us to it, He is equipping us to do it? The choice is ours, but I want to get to the point where maybe, just maybe, I can respond with only one pardon me, instead of a month’s worth!