Gratitude- Doubt!

…we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴ and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵ and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.          Romans 5:2-5

So, I don’t know about you, but for me, this verse, along with it’s counterpart in James 1 which tells us to “count it all joy whenever you face trials of many kinds,” has always been a bit challenging for me. This weekend, my awesome husband built a deck and a swing and a pergola in our backyard. And then, on Sunday night, he started complaining that he was sore, and a few hours later was in full back spasms, and pretty much has been ever since. And, while this is not a permanent problem, and while many people are facing much worse difficulties, I can tell you that there is not an overwhelming amount of rejoicing happening in the Shores’ household right now. He’s tired of hurting, I’m tired of him hurting, we’re both a little more irritable than normal, and we (he, probably more than me!) are both ready for this trial/suffering to move on.

                This week at our RTC Bible study, we talked about doubt. We asked the question, “Is it okay to doubt God?” and then talked about why, how, and what that looks like. Let me tell you, sitting in a room full of kids who have the life experiences of our clients, and hearing them directly relate those experiences to the reason that they doubt that God is good, or that God exists, or that God loves them—that is some real stuff right there. There are no easy answers to give for the reason that our kids have seen and had to live through what some of them have. We talked about sin, and free will, and about how trials can bring us closer to God, and how God can make good things come from awful situations. I believe every word of that. I do. But—that doesn’t make it easier to look a 14 year old in the eye and tell her that there is a reason that she watched what her dad did to her mom, and then to her.

                I think that the thing we can be grateful for in this situation is our doubt, and the knowledge that our God that can handle that doubt. Part of being a loving human being, and having compassion for those around us, is seeing and hearing these situations and wondering why. And, because of where we work, we all may have this question more than most.   We too may doubt God’s goodness or power at times, and I think we certainly have days where we don’t understand why a loving God allows certain circumstances to occur. And, again, while we may know the answers in our heads, and while we may be able to give the rationale for what God can teach us, and how He’s going to use it, it’s a little more difficult on our hearts.

                How I ended the lesson with the kids on Monday night, and the best hope that I have for us today, is that we don’t have to stay in our doubt. We see things, we hear things, and we wonder, but that wonder leads us down a path. We ask questions, we read, we pray, we talk, we wait, we pray some more, and we have the hope that God will move us down the path of doubt, and pull us back around the other side, hugging us in close to Himself. And then we will move further down the path, and we will face different situations and different doubts, and the cycle will begin once again. All we can do, the only way we can move on, and the only hope that we can give to those we serve, is to focus on verse 5 of the passage below, which is so intricately woven in to this message of hope. We have God’s love poured in to our hearts, and we know that it is a love that eventually can conquer all, even if we aren’t quite ready to give in to today.