Faithful- Chapter Two, "Whose Child is This?"

Now that we can say we are officially in the Advent season of the liturgical year, we will continue our study on Adam Hamilton’s Faithful!

Chapter 2: “Whose Child Is This?’

Matthew 1:18-19:  ¹⁸ This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about^[a]: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.¹⁹ Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet^[b] did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

As Hamilton continues to walk us through the story of Joseph, he reminds us of the scandal that was caused by Mary’s pregnancy. While Mary had not been unfaithful to Joseph, it was hard for the people surrounding the couple to believe this. This scandal, while surprising, is so consistent with the character of God. He constantly uses those who are seen by society as damaged, lacking, or even unclean. And the genealogy of Jesus, which begins the New Testament, isn’t different. This list includes two prostitutes, a foreigner, and an adulterer. As Hamilton puts it, “Matthew begins his Gospel by drawing attention to the fact that God has used just such people in the past, in all their painful and difficult circumstances, to accomplish his purposes.”

I think we all know that none of us are perfect. We have lost. We are broken. As I was talking about to some of our RTC kids this week, some of us have caused our own pain, and some of us have had pain given to us, by circumstances well beyond our control. How comforting that God doesn’t distinguish among this pain, but that in His love and mercy, decides to use and redeem all of it for His good and His purposes.

As we turn back toward the story of Joseph, Adam Hamilton in this chapter focuses on Joseph’s response to this news that Mary was pregnant, and that the baby was not his. While this couple was not married, they were in a binding engagement that required a divorce in order to be broken, which meant that Joseph would have had to publicly declare to the priest or the town square what had happened, and what his intentions were with Mary. This, no doubt, would have caused scorning and humiliation, along with some pretty severe financial implications for Mary’s family. Because Joseph was “a righteous man,” according to Matthew 1:19, this is not what he wanted, so he decided to send her away quietly.

It’s important to remember that at this point, Joseph did not believe Mary. He still wanted to send her away, and it wasn’t until the angel appeared to him that he changed his mind and actually believed her story (and…can you really blame him?) Think for a minute about the pain that Joseph must have felt at Mary’s “betrayal”, as this woman whom he was to marry had appeared by all accounts to be unfaithful to him. Her supposed actions had ruined their relationship, and would surely have served to cause embarrassment to Joseph. “He felt hurt and betrayed but refused to denounce her publicly and humiliate her.” “He showed mercy, forgiveness, and grace.”

There is much for us to learn from Joseph’s example in how he dealt with this situation. While he had the legal right to punish, to humiliate, and even to have Mary put to death, he instead responded to his hurt with love. This is SUCH a hard thing to do. We don’t like giving up our rights, we don’t like being hurt, and we certainly don’t like freely forgiving when we feel like others “owe” us. Hamilton uses the example in his book about marriage infidelities, which I’m sure are VERY difficult to forgive, but I think we can use Joseph’s example of forgiveness in pretty much any relationship we have.

If you have a relationship with any other human, for basically any amount of time, one (or both) will probably hurt the other. Hurt is inevitable. However, it is after the hurt occurs that we have a decision to make. Will you choose, like Joseph, to forgive, or will you hold on to resentment and anger, waiting for the person who wronged you to “pay their debts?” We all know, at least in our heads, that unforgiveness hurts us more than the one we are holding a grudge against. However, getting our hearts on board with forgiving can sometimes be a little more difficult.

To me, the best example that we have of forgiveness is Christ. I think of the story of the unmerciful servant, in which a man who has been forgiven a debt (that say is equal to $100), turns immediately to a friend who owes him the equivalent of $1, and throws that friend in debtor’s prison. This parable of Christ is such a shining example of the way that He has forgiven us for EVERYTHING, yet we somehow feel like we have the right to hold on to the smaller wrongs that others have done to us.

It’s funny to think that Christ’s life basically began with forgiveness, as Joseph was choosing to forgive Mary (for what turned out to actually be no wrong.) We can think back to that example that Christ saw of Joseph’s forgiving nature. Hamilton writes, “How often did (Jesus) watch Joseph show mercy to those who had wronged him? How often was Joseph gracious to those who hurt him? How often was he the image of forgiveness? Is it any surprise that Jesus grew to be a man who showed mercy to sinners, who taught his disciples to forgive, who called them to love their enemies?”

Discussion Questions:

-Why do you think we have such a difficult time extending forgiveness?

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Do you have anyone in your life who has modeled forgiveness for you?